One Point Three

I know it is a slow process, and the weight I gained did not go on overnight, so I cannot expect it to come off overnight, can I?
It took me YEARS to get this fat! I worked hard on it, selecting only the best cheese and wine, but not the best chocolate all the time, I must admit.

This week I ate a bit of flour, and I lost 1.3 kilos, or 2.86 lbs.

Still not bad, truly. Normal, even. Right?

A day away

My second weigh in, and third week on this journey, is tomorrow. Today when I got dressed I had picked up a pair of pants I love but that are very tight in the thigh. I should have said were very tight. They were actually loose. For the first time in years I have tried on a loose pair of pants.
I made a "green soup" or Sopa Verde tonight for the week, I find having a soup around that I can eat makes lunch quicker and easier. I basically made a chicken broth and added almost everything green I found in the grocery store: 1 leek, 1 poblano pepper, 1 cup of freshly hulled green peas, 1 bunch of swiss chard, (I bought frozen beans but just remembered them, will add them as I heat up the soup during the week) and 2 small zuccini. Pepper, butter, oil, a dash of salt and voila! Soupa Verde.

While grocery shopping I caught my reflection in the glass. As great as I feel about loosing weight, I must not loose sight of the fact that I have more than just 3 kilos to loose. Many, many more than just three.

Three Kilos

Eighteen months ago I had to write friends to tell them I could not go zip lining because I was 15 lbs over the weight limit. I weighed 265 lbs. I was 34.
10 years ago I quit smoking, and after a discussion with my doctor, he said at the time that he would rather I be heavier and smoke free.
Well, I am heavier than that day 10 years ago. At the time I quit smoking I weighed about 180 pounds. Last doctor's visit he told me it was time to start loosing weight.
Now, don't misunderstand. I was never, ever, ever skinny. Ever. My mother never was, my grandmothers never were. We are from a volumptuos crop of women.
I do not have low self esteem. I love myself, I love who I am, what I do and am capable of doing, and I even love every inch of my body. As big as it is.
However, there are some days I look in the mirror and wonder where I got the drooping belly fat, or the back fat.
I go shopping and am dismayed that designers of plus size clothing think that fat women hate their bodies and just want to cover them up. No shapes, no curves.

I have done a variety of eating plans, some with great success, others with no success. The most successful was the Adele Phun eating plan, which regulates your blood sugar. It worked, until...I started eating the foods I loved all the time.

Self sabotage, emotional eating - call it whatever you want, the brain did NOT want to give up chocolate, cheese, wheat, dairy, caramel sauce, ice cream, need I go on?

I know I need to add more physical activity, but that is a huge challenge for me. I do hot yoga. I used to like to run but fell out of the habit. I love to walk but we can't seem to find the time. I like to swim, but I use my husband's lack of desire to come with me as an excuse to not go.

This week I lost 3 kilos, 6.6 lbs.